well springs semter has begun and im freaked out. philosophy scares the hell out of me i havent contributed to the class discussions once. i just dont get it. maybe im too old to get it. put in for a tutor, hope i get someone who has had him befiore.
jake is failing 3 classes i cant get him motivated... i know i know take away teh computer. im just a big pushover.;  anyway ive gota f ull load again, im carrying 13 credits  should probaly be taking more but 5 classes is enough for me. i dont know if i told anyone but i made deans list last semester but i had beki to thanks for that. im really working my ass off have  no life but school and jake and our meetings,  well the lunesta is hitting me time for bed talk to everyone soon, love to all

american Jew

ok so social problems has been a tough class. the teacher has his own agenda and we have spent weeks now on social class structure. i really didint understand what was going on. i went to the study group the night before the exam...well guess what ????  i pulled off a B. yes thats right a B. i couldnt friggin believe it. i an stoked. just ahd to share'


enjoy your day

its 130am and i am sitting at my computer wide awake. did i do any school work today? no i slept in and then hung out with a friend and then played on the computer all night. i have 2 major papers to complete and want to get them done early so im not freaking out about them. but first i have to go to the writing clinic i dont know the different formats the teachers want. i need to start an outline and research for both. they are basically the same paper only one on social work career and one on psychology career. different information needed for both but once i get one done the other will be easy cuz i'll know what to do. im taking my son to the fair tomorrow because s8ince school started we havent done anything together but watch tv or play on our computers. i sit and read and he says i ignore him. i dont mean too i just have so much wwork to do. i am having trouble getting up in the morning during the week and staying up. my earliest calss is 1130 so i get jake off to school and go back to bed until 10 instead of getting up and doing work. i could uses those hours to read or write or research. during the week i go to bed no later than 1130. and up at 710 to wake jake up for school get him out and go back to bed. what am i going to do if i get an early class next semester? i signed up for tutoring for my religion class, hopefully they will have someone who has had the teacher before so they will understand his method of teaching. being jewish in a catholic class is very overwhelming. hell the whole experience of school is overwhelming. the dr's have tweaked  my meds to help me sleep but all it really does is slow my mind down at night. which is a good thing i guess. i cant take the serioquel cuz it knocks me on my ass. cant get up at all unless i sleep like a thousand hours even on only 12.5mg. im cutting the 25's in half.  they told me to stop trying the sseroquel . so i am. im sleeping soundly except for the occasional cat on my chest at 4am. im using my bipap machine everynight so i am getting sleep but i never feel rested. the bipap was supposed to help with that cuz i wouldnt stop breathing and have peacful restful sleep. what is wrong with me? i have so much available time in the mornings if i could just stay awake. and dont tell me coffee cuz its not enough i just cant stay awake.

oh on another note i did take my cats in to be fixed this mornign early but came home and went right back to sleep. finally got up around noon. they just finally came out from under the bed i was getting worried about them, but the male (ichego) seemd to be doing ok he jumped on the bed and the couch saki on the other  hand is really lethargic and im worried about her since she had major surgery. i hate that they dont keep them overnight. i dont think either of them has drunk anything today and im afraid of them getting dehydrated. oh more mothersly stuff to wrry about.

on a third note and probably more im portant than the cats jacob had a colonoscopy last monday. the biopsy report found something unusual, not cancer but they arent sure what it is and have schedule further testing. he's only 14 and they cant figure out whats worng. hes excited he has a mystery diagnosis thinks its cool like the show on discovery health. thats my kid for you. wait til he sees what he has to do for the next test. upper GI series, drink chalk. hes gonna love it but i think it will go better than the colonoscopy prep. thanks again jynxx for helping on that one. i owe you, i had to go out of town that day and she filled in for me to get jake to drink the go lytely to clean him out.  what a mess. more stuff on my head.

ok im done bitching...love you all

i took my first exam in psych last week really didnt feel good about it went back and changed some answers. got it back today....B- IF I HADNT CHANGED 2 ANSWERS WOULD HAVE HAD A SOLID B.  took my social problems exam today we'll just ahve to wait and seea bout this one. this is the real problem class for me next to religion. oy vey

i have spent the last 3 days cramming information into my head. making out note cards and taking notes on readings that the professor has assigined. tomorrow i am going to a study group at the university for the test. no one understands what he wants. its all essay. the one good thing i can say is that i am taking the exam in a seperate location with extra time to finish it. i am still overwhelmed and think i blew my first psych exam. started second guessing myself. wrote a very weak essay.  all i know is my brain is fried and i still have work for other classes to get done. my dr changed up my night time meds to help me sleep better cuz im having trouble sleep-ing again. cant calm down to many racing thoughts thru my head. so far so good. we;ll see long term. ok im done bitching...thanks everyone for your support it means a lot to me.

well today was my first exam. i really think i blew it. i tried to study but im on overload and didnt study the parts she had on the test. of course
we;ll just ahve towait and see. im going to a study group  monday night for tuesdays exam cuz noone understands what he wants. he reveiewed again today and it still didnt make any sencse to me. im just going to have to re read the materieal and see if i can get a handle on it.  he is not teaching out of the book and he has his own agenda. its all essay tuesday im really worried.  this is going to be a bitch ....reality check can i do this?

i havent posted in quite sometime. life gets in the way. after much consideration and therapy and drugs, i decided to go back to school. i am 43 with 2 kids single mom and i am now officially a college student. i am studying social work. decided if i cant beat em may as well join them. i am carrying a full class load my frist semester back in 25 years. its not easy. i am having trouble keeping up on the reading,. thank god i dont have classes on fridays so i have an extra day for my weekends to catch up. i am still seeing my therapist weekly and using the tutoring that is available. i have also gone to the office for students with disabilities and they are aware of my issues and being very supportive. i am getting to take all my exams in a secluded area and have extra time to take them. i am using my anti anxiety meds regularly to keep me grounded. this was my third week of classes and so far i think i am adapting well. next week exams begin we'll see how i fair. i also have my first 2 papers due one of which i have already written. i just wanted to let people out there know ther are programs available and scholarships and grants. i am going thru something called the office of vocational rehabilitiation. they are paying for part of my schooling. i also received a very large scholarship from the school itself plus a needs based grant. i am on disability if i didnt mention that. anyway like i said just wanted to get teh word out there that it is possible. ask me in 2 months if im still doing ok we'll see. lol

so here i am in between classes.  i have an hour and a half on tues and thurs.  just realizing how much work i have this weekend. i have my first real paper to do and again tons of reading. sept 23rd is the first exam in social problems. he said essay, great. i dont understand the calss at all.  thanks to the office of disabillities i have an alternate test area and more time but i dont know if i can pass this one. he has done so much outside reading. and even today we were supposed to read a achapter and discuss it and we went off  on a tangent about pharmeceuticla companies and big bussiness running the government.  it was a chapter about unemployement and work ethic in america.  my psych class and social work class seem to be the only ones not giving me a real hard time. the university 100 bullshit calss is ridiculous we do nothing. and its 2 hours long. we have to read al gores book on global warming and write a book report. plus journal entries. religion is giving me a so so time. i started to understand the lecture last night but i dont understand the accountablility journals he wants written. looks like its time for a phone call to him since i dont have email for him. tomorrow i get to play lab rat for a psych grad student. we are required to do 3 tests with grad students to fulfill our class credit. going to talk to the professor about extra credit just in case. i am not good at this time management thing. i write things down in the calendar and then forget to read it.  missed a soical work department meeting yesterday and i was on campus early too to go the library for religion. this is the end of week 3 only 12 more to go. im not taking my anxiety meds this week, they arent working anyway, but i still feel overwhelmed anad dont see how im keeping up. thanks Bek for helping with teh crossword i really appreciate it. if i get these stupid crossword puzzles done for religion thats 5 extra credit points. everyone said school was going to be hard and it is  but now they are all saying marywood is even harder. that maybe i should have gone to the university of scranton instead. but i didnt want to go there, they dont  have a social work department. i think i need a drink, bu ti have no time. geeeeez is thing rant long enough????

its almost midnight tuesday night. i have class at 3. so far i have been able to keep up with the readings but my social problems class is really worrying me. im just not getting what he is trying to do. he hasnt touched the book and has us read all these other readings from the eaarly 1900's to get a better understanding of social society and its workings. i am not a political person and i dont understand all these terms and i am quite concerned about the testing for this class. i must maintain a b average to amintain my scholoarship. its not like i can go to the tutopring sessions because he is not using the book. my notes dont even make sence to me. i am using dictionary.cpom like no tomorrow and still not getting the point. this and religion are the 2 hardest classes so far. the priest teaching relgion tells me not to worry it will come together and i will understand it but i dont. i know the first 5 books of moses and some of the prophets that go along with it. i have no clue about jeseus and catholisims. other than that im doing ok. i like my classes. i am starting to meet people in my classes which is good. i still fell like the old hag but at least people are talking to me now. the freshman seminar class is bullshit,. we have to do 5 hours of community service and then write a paper about it. we have a paper due every month on bullshit. your experience so far. how can you be a better student, what have you learned abotj your self. if you cant tell im a little frustrated. just taking the days as they come. class by class. the one good thing is im doing my homework and jake see it so he is doing his. thats a big plus. i fought with him all last year about homework. if i stay on track and can hold my class load he and will graduate teh same year. him from high school me from college. but im not thinking that far ahead i just want to get thru the semester. i have so much to do its not funny. time manaegment is not one of my strong points. and this damn rlc is so addicting. i have managed to not be on for a few nights becausei have priorities now nadn real life takes precident.  ok im done ranting. thanks for listening and putting up woth my bad speklling.

ok, so ive made it thru 2 weeks now. tons of reading and note taking, feeling stressed and overwhelmed. had the dr increase my klonipin. but now im afraid to take it for fearr of falling asleep in class.  trying to keep up with the assignments. and still take care of home. 50 page chapters and papaers tow rite,  ok im whining. but im doing it. so far so good i suppose. having most difficulties with social  problems and religion.  social problems teacher is trying to give us this grand overview of society and no tusing the book and religion well im the token jew in a caatholic class. he says to relax and i'll get it but so far i dont. oh well so much for catholics...lol.